Is Sexual Perfectionism Destroying Your Sex Life?

by | Jul 2, 2022 | Uncategorized | 0 comments

Separate your self-worth from your sexual performance.

Some sexual perfectionists retreat from having sex rather than risk not measuring up in bed.

They may be inclined to substitute masturbation for fearless, unabashed sex.

Don’t substitute it for sex with your partner!

Strengthen your willpower muscle by pushing yourself to have sex rather than shying away from it.

It is OK to be wanting to great sex for your SELF

  • Why sexual anxiety may be due to perfectionism, and what you can do about it.
  • Do you experience anxiety before sex and/or during it which spoils the experience?
  • Do you find yourself stressing out about the possibility of not performing well and, as a result, bring about precisely what you fear?
  • After all, sex needs to be perfect, right? And if it’s anything less, then it’s not what it must be. Right?
  • The answer is a resounding no! In fact, this is the sort of thinking that creates your performance anxiety in the first place.

More precisely, sexual perfectionism may involve any, or all, of the following perfectionistic demands or “musts”:

  • I must have an orgasm.
  • I must have good timing (come to orgasm at the right time, neither prematurely nor too late).
  • I must satisfy my partner.
  • I must be able to have and maintain my erection.
  • My partner must approve of my body.

If you tell yourself any of these musts, then you probably suffer from sexual perfectionism, a self-disturbing, self-defeating form of performance perfectionism.

And if you are a sexual perfectionist, you likely exhibit this type of perfectionism in other aspects of your life, such as job performance, school, etc. So, the problem in bed is likely part of a larger problem that stems from a demanding form of perfectionism.

It is quite reasonable to aspire to have perfect sex, but it unrealistic to demand that you be perfect, because this is impossible or damn near it.